Copyright by
Gary L. Pullman 2019
Humor—good humor, that
is—is difficult in itself. Structuring humor can be an added
challenge. That's why the aspiring humorist should analyze the work
of professionals, such as Bill O'Reilly, author of Old School: Life
in the sane Lane, and his co-author, Brice Feirstein. It seems safe
to say that many would recognize O'Reilly's name as that of the host
of The O'Reilly Factor, late of Fox News, but O'Reilly has also
written a number of bestselling books. Feirstein, although less known
to the public in general, is also a professional writer. As a
screenwriter, he wrote the James Bond scripts for GoldenEye, Tomorrow
Never Dies, and The World Is Not Enough, as well as many articles for
such national periodicals as The New York Times and The Wall Street
Journal. Feirstein is also the author of Real Men Don't Eat Quiche
and is a long-term contributing editor for Vanity Fair. Both O'Reilly
and Feirstein have a keen sense of humor, as is evident in much of
their work, including Old School.
So how
did the authors structure their humor?
Old School
starts with an introduction, “Greetings from 1973,” in which
O'Reilly, using the metaphor of taking a ride in an automobile,
promises to share the career path that led him into journalism after
his interest in the subject was inspired by his teaching English and
history at Pace High School in Opa-locka, Florida, “the crack
capital of Dade County” during 1973, “a year when the U.S.
government was falling apart.” He introduces the theme of the book
by recounting the fact that, on the actual drive he took from Florida
to Massachusetts, where he's been accepted as a student at Boston
University, in the school's “broadcast journalism master's degree
program,” which he undertook without benefit of an air conditioner,
he advises people who complain about “their personal temperature”
to “Stop,” adding the observation, “Life is not
climate-controlled, people. Accept it. Don't be a Snowflake, a
condition we will soon describe.”
Snowflakes,
in fact, will become the target of O'Reilly's and Feirstein's humor,
their adversaries who have been educated according to a curriculum
far different than that of the Old School of which Old
School's authors are alumni. Of
course, humor often depends on targets or adversaries of one sort or
another. Although humorists may be self-deprecating, the humorous
opportunities offered by even the biggest ego is limited; a whole
group of people, such as Snowflakes, offers many more targets for a
pair of humorists.
In the
first chapter of the book, “Preschool: Take Your Seat,” O'Reilly
offers an anecdote about his father, Bill O'Reilly, Sr., who never
let fashion get in the way of saving money. His father was happy to
wear polyester, “mustard-yellow pants held up by red suspenders”
that were too short for his 6'3” height. The dialogue between
father and son is lively because of its allusions to history (the
Great depression), fashion, an eye condition, and a disco band and
the conflict between the generations that the respective speakers'
points of view represents:
“Dad, your pants are too short.”
“Who are you, Oleg Cassini now?”
“And what color is that?”
“They're yellow. Do you have astigmatism?”
“Come on, Dad, this is not a good presentation. You
don't leave the house wearing those things, do you?”
My father paused, giving me a look. He knew I was
jazzing him, but his sense of humor overrode any offense.
“Don't remember you checking out my wardrobe when I
was paying for your college.”
“Yeah, but you didn't look like one of the Village
People back then.”
My father actually laughed and walked into the kitchen.
He wore those pants for years (1-2).
To
the Old School attitude and behavior O'Reilly suggests by this
anecdote, he and Feirstein will juxtapose those of their targets, the
Snowflakes:
Now there is an ongoing battle between traditional
Americans and those who want a kinder, gentler landscape full of
“conversations” and group hugs, folks who believe that life must
be fair and that, if it is not, there has to be a “safe space”
available where they can cry things out (2).
O'Reilly
next introduces his co-author, explaining how he and Feirstein met at
Boston University; they're both “Old School,” O'Reilly explains,
but they take different approaches to communicating with others who
have opinions different than their own: “While I embrace an East
Coast swagger, Feirstein does not immediately alienate half the
universe as I have a tendency to do, but we're both Old School guys,
as you will soon see. However, we take different buses to the school,
which makes things interesting” (3).
Next,
to further illustrate Old School teaching, O'Reilly lists examples of
hypothetical situations in which he, his parents, or others might
have been involved and his schoolmates and neighbors' reactions to
his and his parents' behavior. A few illustrate the approach:
If my mom had defended me after a kid-on-kid
altercation, I could never have left the house again.
If my dad had yelled at the Little League coach, air
might have left the tires of our family car.
If I'd borrowed money from another kid to buy a Three
Musketeers and didn't pay it back, no one would have played with me.
If a kid kicked someone in a fight, he was blacklisted.
Only fists, and no hitting when someone was down.
If
a girl curse, silence ensued. For a long time. And boys never
bothered girls because of the “Brother and His Large Friends”
rule (4).
He
sets up the next chapter with two short paragraphs at the end of
chapter one:
It is not Old School to live in the past, but
remembering how things were as opposed to how things are now is a
required course.
So
let's get started.
The
title of the book's second chapter explains its mission: “Introducing
the old School Curriculum.” A multiple-choice test quizzes readers
on their actions and practices: “Do you still have a landline
telephone?” “Do you still balance your checking account every
month?” “If someone wishes you a 'Merry Christmas,' what's your
immediate response?” “Which best reflects your view on dealing
with terrorists?” What would you do “if you happen upon a raging
warehouse fire late at night”? Then, the authors explain how
members of the Old School conduct themselves in various situations,
contrasting their behavior with that of Snowflakes. They suggest such
individuals as Al Gore and Rosie O'Donnell are apt to be snowflakes,
whereas Jack Nicholson, like Teddy Roosevelt, could be Old School.
Essentially,
then, the introduction and the first two chapters of Old School
introduce its topic, separate people into two groups, members of the
Old School and Snowflakes, and suggests that Old School is easier
exemplified than defined.
Chapter
3, “Old School Is in Session,” presents biographical sketches of
four well-known members of the Old School: John Wayne, Billy Joel,
Tina Turner, and Chris Kyle. We'll consider chapter 3 (and others) in
future posts, coming soon to a computer near you.
